Monday, July 9, 2012

Late Night Musings

This post wrote itself the other night, and I have to get it out of my head.  This one started with a realization--which I tend to have a lot of.  Most of the realizations are minor, and some are kind of big.  This one was both big and important. 

For most of the spring and half of the summer I had been fighting depression.  Then, about three weeks ago, it suddenly went away in one great blinding voip.  The sudden-ness has left me reeling, and for these three weeks I have been trying to recover both from that and from the depression itself.  I have been spending most of my time on the couch reading, or doing slightly mindless crafts--like the rockets I made for the boys.

The boys hate this, and it's understandable; I've been acting like a convalescent.  It's been really hard on them, especially since we've been trying to cut back on our excess spending and we haven't been going to air conditioned play-places as often. 

I talked to the midwife about this at our last appointment (the baby is doing wonderfully, by the way) and she said not to underestimate the amount that depression can take out of a person and how hard it is to recover.  I can tell that I am getting better.  I might still be a little slow for a while, but the fact that I thought of this post nearly word for word and needed to write it down is a good sign.

I'm still concerned about how long and hot this summer is going to be, however, now that I don't have that problem hanging over my head I'm more optimistic about surviving; and maybe even having some fun.  My prayers go out to all those fighting depression, and I am grateful that I am able to recover as well as I am.  Now I'm going to go tickle my children.

Zizi

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