I have figured it out, again. The children need my attention for at least twenty hours of the day. Two weeks ago I wrote that Thing One had had a growing-up victory; since then he had refused to repeat this victory. That resulted in too many spankings and more laundry. Then I spent a day playing with him and suddenly this growing-up thing was easy to do.
Sometimes I wonder how many times I need to be told this before I will get it. And sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me. Other times I wonder if I'm sick. Then, last night I read this article, "A Meditation on the Shocking Idea That Maybe We're Not Just Lazy Whiners" on Conversion Diary. Like most women, it hit me pretty hard. I didn't start crying about it until this morning, when I had a chance to talk to Nick about it. That's when I remembered that, on top of the depression, I do have Thyroid problems (that brings fatigue and irritable-ness).
Nick and I have decided that this year will be a sort of over-all spring cleaning. We are going to clean everything out of our lives that isn't directly related to our physical or spiritual survival. Lent begins next week, and that is the perfect opportunity to re-start our New Years goals. I'm going to focus more on getting myself back up to par. Nick and I are going to get in shape, and I'm going to do one of the hardest things that a woman can do--I'm going to clean out my wardrobe.
I'll be reading the above article to remind myself that I'm not perfect, and this article to remind myself that I should try to be. It might seem counter intuitive to be focusing on how I look when I should be trying to get my spiritual life back on track, but there is some reason to my madness. We are not purely spiritual beings--I have a body, and sometimes I really like it. True humility involves acknowledging both your weaknesses and your strengths, and being comfortable with them, while still trying to improve the one and direct both towards God.
Anyway, I made cocoa with the boys today and then chased them all around the house. When I sat back down and looked at Mimi, she was up on her hands and knees and rocking herself forward!
Ciao and many blessings for Lent.